Self-esteem is a very blurry thing. Even the most successful person can be frightened and lose all his confidence if he is placed in unfamiliar conditions. For example, send him to another country where he won’t know the language and culture. Conversely, a man with the lowest self-esteem will behave confidently doing a job that he is good at.

For example, you will feel confident when you brush your teeth and cook food that you like. Let’s discuss where our confidence or insecurity comes from, what its causes are, and most importantly, how to raise self-esteem and self-confidence.

5 Tips for increasing self-esteem

Apart from raising your self-esteem and confidence you also need to make sure that no one can influence it. So here are 5 ways to do it.

# 1 Create a certain plan of action

Build a plan of action. You’re not sure of your abilities when you’re afraid of something. Usually, fear comes when you don’t have exact steps leading to a goal. No one’s ever been confident walking in the air. Determine, be clear about what you are doing, and then the air will turn into the solid ground under your feet. When you have a clear plan of action, the fear goes away. Start prescribing or thinking about strategies for all situations:

• How to look confident.
• How to speak confidently.
• How to behave confidently in the company of new people.

You will learn all this if you have a structured action plan in your head. Try to live following these templates, and the uncertainty will disappear from your life.

# 2 Make a list of things you are good at

Make a list of 50 things that you’re doing great. These can be either the easiest things or the ones you’ve studied for a long time and managed to become an expert. For example:

• You are a great cook of pasta;
• You drive a car magically;
• You wash your windows professionally;
• You’re quite popular on sex dating site;
• You solve puzzles quickly, and so on.

Put this list in a prominent place, like a magnet on the fridge. Or at least just look through the list every day and you’ll notice that your self-confidence will grow.

# 3 Remember the sweet moment of confidence

Recall the moment in your life when you felt confident. Play it in your head. Remember every detail, if possible. How do you feel now? What emotions? Remember those feelings and create an anchor. And now every time you feel insecure, go back to that state. Replay those emotions again. You’re not so insecure anymore? You can do it! You did it then, so you can do it now.

# 4 Think of yourself well

Praise yourself. Every time you look in the mirror, say to yourself out loud or in your mind, “I love you.” And never blame yourself as when you do so, you make your self-confidence lower. Support yourself with encouraging phrases: “You are the smartest! You’re gonna make it! You’re great!”

Come up with at least 10 of these phrases that fit you. Write your favorite phrase on the mirror with lipstick. It works! If you say these words often, they will settle safely in your subconscious, and your brain will think so over some time.

# 5 Defend your private boundaries

Protect your confidence. Remember that its strength depends only on you. You can hear the criticism but do not listen to it. Just nod quietly and they’ll leave you alone. Do not react. The making decision point must always be within you. Do not let external circumstances influence your self-esteem. Defend your boundaries and always ask yourself: “Whose decision is this? My decision or someone else’s?”, “Whose opinion do I depend on more: mine or someone else’s?”

This is your life. And it’s up to you how to live it. Let everything pass through the internal filter, let only one category of people influence your decisions – close people, who are experts in the case that you are currently deciding. And now look at the world with a completely different eye – through the eyes of an absolutely self-confident person.